Moonlit Path--only I will know for sure!

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From the Garden

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Christina's Miracle Birth

Today, October 23, twenty-nine years ago today, I had one of the most incredible experiences of my life, I gave birth to my daughter, Christina Grace Turnwall. A little over two years before, I had given birth to my son, Calvin, in our local hospital. I vowed at the time that I would not have another child in the hospital, because they would not let me hold and feed him when I wanted to.

So, I was in excellent health, and we decided to have a home birth. All that night, I sat naked and every time I had a contraction, I became one with the light a candle flame. It was a method I discovered that night, and it worked incredibly well (even though I experienced intense contractions) I felt no pain. I let myself relax by breathing in to the candle light. The midwife who we had arranged to help us wasn’t able to make it. Another midwife, who hadn’t had much experience yet, came and assisted towards the end.

I tapped into my female essence, deep into my animal nature. It was as if I was a cat or dog that wanted to hide from the rest of the world. I was non-verbal, focusing on relaxing with my breath. I reached a point in which I was almost spinning with energy because of how quickly the contractions were piling on top of each other. My midwife came over and I guess that she was looking at how still I seemed on the outside and said that she thought that I was five centimeters dilated. Not agreeing with her, my inner voice told me that I was ten centimeters dilated, which is all the way opened up, but since I wasn’t talking I didn’t say anything.

A little while later, I felt like I had to pee. So, I walked outside the yurt and squatted down to pee on the ground (I didn’t want to walk all the way down to the outhouse). Nothing came out. Again, my inner voice told me that I had better be careful because the baby might fall out. That seemed reasonable to me, so I returned to the yurt and when I walked across the threshold I screamed because it felt like someone had stabbed me. Lynn (the midwife) told me to lay down, and Phyllis (her helper) and her washed her hands. Lynn told me to push hard on the next contraction, and out came Christina’s head. I pushed again on the next contraction and out came the rest of Christina!

That was how my sweet daugh, Christina was born.

Christina Grace Turnwall's first picture during the first few minutes after her birth.

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Colored pencil self-portrait recreating Christina's birth--29 years ago today!

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Once a Little Brother, Always a Little Brother

I SO love to garden. However, I am not the greatest gardener in the world, just in the top 15. Unfortunately, our water is limited, and I am afraid of running out. Or maybe it’s that it gets so dog gone hot in the summer garden. I can hardly stand being in there except early in the morning, when I would much rather be sleeping. I have lots of excuses for being a just so-so gardener.

My little brother, Eddie, is a fabulous gardener! He has incredible yields with potatoes and other vegetables that he grows on his forty acres outside of Winslow, Arkansas. I am sharing a picture of him in his garden taken this past summer. See how lush his garden looks! He is standing next to a tobacco plant that he grew, and he doesn’t even smoke tobacco. Go figure.

Isn’t it funny how I will always see him as my little brother, and there is nothing little about him. I love him so much, and I hardly ever get to see him, or even talk to him on the phone. Call me, little brother.

My brother, Eddie Butler, in his garden outside of Winslow, Arkansas.

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Mare's Hill

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Creeping Virgina Creeper

This beautiful Virginia Creeper has crept over one corner of my house and covers most of my bedroom window. In the last 24 hours, it has almost turned all red. In a few more days, there won't be any green left. Then, a good wind will come and blow it all away.

I used the posterize effect on Photoshop to intensify the colors.

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Shy Wild Turkeys not interested in sticking around for dinner.

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Poison Oak Dancing with Oak

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Unresolved

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The Arms of Mother

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Naked Tree Climbing

Visitors pass within 30 feet of Spirit Tree and without ever seeing it, even though it is huge (the front right crotch is over my head when I stand next to it). I have climbed on it, and sitting on its shoulder with blue mud scraped out of our sacred pond and smeared artfully on my and my friend’s body. As we danced around and on the tree (we actually climbed on that limb), I was riding it like it was a horse. Its hide was rough and with the stiff mosses dried in the summer sun. My friend and I seemed to go into a timeless realm. I think it was because somehow the blue clay freed up our spirits and allowed us to dance with the spirit of this exquisite California Myrtle. Some people see them as weeds because happy Bay trees (another name for this tree) make lots of baby Bay trees. I live on the edge of a forest which Bay trees abundantly frequent.

Some of the other old growth Bay trees in our neighborhood had large pieces cut out of them, probably in the fifties. I feel sad when I come up to an ancient one and find that it has a rectangular block of it removed—maybe 8 cubic feet—two by two by two. I love it when they look like Spirit Tree with arms outstretched--for me, another manifestation of God/Goddess.

The photo that I posted on Friday was taken in July of this year. I have a few more that I have taken over the years. This tree begs to be touched. My kids and extended kids loved to climb and jump off this tree. I have also drawn it and painted it from observation. When I draw or paint, I like to show how I see with eyes of spirit. Many times, I don’t “see” what came through until I look at it at later through different eyes. It is my intent to connect with the spirit of everything I photograph. Not trying to capture the soul, simply connect in a way that allows a peek into a different realm. I guess that would be allowing spirit to work through me. Or is that the same as being the God/Goddess that I AM? Or seeing the God/Goddess/Goodness wherever I look. I walk in beauty. May you walk in beauty. We are at choice as to how we perceive the world, and how we be and act. As both Mahatma Ghandi and Challenge Day say, “Notice, choose, and act.”

Drawing of Spirit Tree that I did with colored pencils this summer.

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Spirit Tree

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Clean-up Time in the Barn

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Here again is the view I will never tire of.

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Battery Found

Yipee! My husband, Steve, was walking down the driveway and found the battery for my camera. So, I don’t have to figure out how to use my other camera. However, I am having a problem getting a photo uploading this morning;-(.

Camera Blues

Wow, I haven’t posted since last Friday. Let me share my excuses with you. Saturday and Sunday I took a “Watercolor on Silk Class” taught by Susan Moyer. I got to experience many different ways to paint dyes directly on to silk. To save money, I drove around an hour on a winding road each way. So, I didn’t have time or energy to do anything for my blog on the weekend. After I came home from work last evening I felt like I was still recovering from a weekend on the go.

Yesterday morning I pulled my camera out of my purse and out on to the car seat. To my surprise, the little door on my camera’s battery was open, and nothing was in the chamber. That afternoon I went to our local camera store and ordered a battery. The camera lady said it would be 2-3 weeks. Today, I went to Walmart thinking that they might just have a battery for my camera. Alas! They don’t carry it.

One my options would be to play with some of my other pictures using Photo Shop, and then post them. Another would be to find a place online, order another battery and maybe get it sooner. That way I will continue to be able to take pictures. Or, I could use my other camera which is more cumbersome, and yet has more features. For example, I could shoot in the raw format if I knew how, but would take time reading directions. (Yuck!)

While picking up my Minolta Dimage A1, I accidentally turned it on. I tried taking a picture, but couldn’t remember how the camera works. This camera is counter-intuitive for me. Around a year ago, a got a smaller point-and-shoot Minolta. Since then, I haven’t picked up my big old clunky camera.